Trust and Temperament – When Women Get It Right
Introduction: The Power of a Woman’s Influence
We’ve all heard the saying, “Behind every great man is a great woman.” But the truth is, women aren’t meant to just be behind men—they are meant to be alongside them, influencing them with wisdom, trust, and grace. The problem? Trusting and tempering our words and emotions doesn’t always come naturally.
This chapter will explore how trust and temperament shape relationships, why women sometimes struggle to trust their husbands, and how wisdom, patience, and encouragement can transform a marriage. Let’s dive in!
1. Why Is Trust So Hard?
Genesis 3:16 tells us that, after the fall, women would struggle with control. That struggle often looks like difficulty trusting our husbands—whether it’s their decisions, their leadership, or their ability to meet our needs.
Trust is scary because it requires letting go. It means believing that, even if things don’t go our way, God is still in control.
Anecdote: Have you ever handed your husband a grocery list, only for him to come back with everything except what you actually needed? That’s when the temptation to micromanage sets in!
Key Scripture: Proverbs 3:5 – “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”
Trusting your husband is ultimately about trusting God.
2. The Power of a Gentle Word
Women are natural communicators, and that’s a beautiful thing. But when our words aren’t tempered with wisdom, they can do more harm than good.
- Words can build up or tear down.
- Words can encourage or embarrass.
- Words can inspire or intimidate.
Anecdote: Ever seen a wife correct her husband in front of friends? You can see him shrink. A woman’s words have power—use them wisely.
Key Scripture: Proverbs 31:26 – “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.”
3. The Difference Between Strength and Strife
The world tells women that strength means dominance, but biblical strength is grace under pressure. It’s not about being passive—it’s about being purposeful.
Anecdote: Have you ever tried to open a jar that wouldn’t budge? You twist and twist, and just when you’re about to give up, your husband takes it and pops it open with ease. Some battles aren’t ours to fight alone.
Key Scripture: 1 Peter 3:4 – “Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
Gentleness doesn’t mean weakness—it means self-control.
4. Encouragement Over Criticism
No one likes to feel like a failure, especially men. One of the greatest gifts a wife can give her husband is encouragement, not constant correction.
Anecdote: Imagine you’re trying to learn something new—cooking a complicated dish, driving in an unfamiliar area, assembling furniture—and someone is hovering over your shoulder, critiquing every move. Frustrating, right?
That’s how men feel when their wives nitpick instead of cheering them on.
Key Scripture: Ephesians 4:29 – “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up.”
5. Submission Without Fear
Submission has been deeply misunderstood. It’s not about blind obedience—it’s about trusting God’s design.
- Submission is NOT about losing your voice.
- Submission IS about respect, trust, and partnership.
Anecdote: Think of submission like following GPS directions. If we ignore them because we think we know better, we might end up lost or delayed. But when we trust the system (or in this case, God’s plan), we reach the destination with fewer detours.
Key Scripture: Colossians 3:18 – “Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”
6. Practical Ways to Build Trust and Temperament
Want to develop a trusting heart and a wise temperament? Try these steps:
- Pray before you speak – Ask, “Is this helpful or hurtful?”
- Encourage more than you criticize – Praise his efforts, not just results.
- Let go of small things – Not every battle is worth fighting.
- Trust God first – Your husband is human, but God is faithful.
Conclusion: Trusting God, Transforming Relationships
A woman’s trust and temperament can build or break a relationship. When we choose trust over fear and wisdom over control, we bring peace into our homes.
So, the next time you feel the urge to correct, control, or criticize, ask yourself—Am I helping, or am I hovering? The answer might change everything.
(Next up: Chapter 7 – The Tug-of-War: Fighting for Each Other, Not Against Each Other.)
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